


Duck.  Duck.  Goose!

by the queen conquers (dastardlydame)



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Flirting, Crack, Cute Steve Harrington, Dorks, Fluff, Humor, Innuendo, M/M, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington Friendship, Steve Harrington is a Dingus, Summer, Top Gun (1986) References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 04:04:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19881328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dastardlydame/pseuds/the%20queen%20conquers
Summary: "This duck is defective!"You're defective," Robin retorted, leaning back in the lounge chair and rubbing more sunscreen on her freckled nose."Rude.""Duh."Alternately titled:What Did the Damn Duck Do Now?





	Duck.  Duck.  Goose!

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wanted silly summer nonsense where everything is fluffy crack and nothing hurts. This happened. I'm sorry that I'm not sorry. 😉
> 
> Contains only minor s3 spoilers.

"Will you take a chill pill? I got this, " Steve insisted, squeezing the plastic mouth piece of the half inflated duck floatie. His face twisted in disgust when his fingers touched spit but he refused to back down. It was the principle! The duck—and Robin—would not win. Not on Steve Harrington's watch. His little buddy Dustin was counting on him to get this pool toy up and floating.

"I'm not entirely convinced you ever graduated kindergarten, Harrington." It looked like Robin was trying to glare at him but it turned into more of a constipated squint when the bright midday sun emerged afrom the clouds. Even the the sun was on his side. 1-0, Robin. King Steve reigned supreme.

He blew into the mouth piece with gusto, cheeks puffing out like a chipmunk. The duck barely budged. He shook it angrily.

"This duck is defective!"

"You're defective," Robin retorted, leaning back in the lounge chair and rubbing more sunscreen on her freckled nose.

"Rude."

"Duh."

Steve sulked for less than a minute before he snapped his fingers and shot her a sly grin. "Maybe we should ask Heather for help."

Robin gulped. She thought Steve was oblivious to the reason they were at the Hawkins' Community Pool instead of his private one, but he was a good wingman. He was her Goose (even if she pretended she was too good for the movie) and he was going to make lemonade out of the lemons that were this damn duck. 

He continued, gleefully, "Yeah, that's a good idea. See? I have plenty of good ideas." Steve waved the half deflated duck toy in the air, nearly smacking a passing Mike, who dodged it and shot him a dirty look. "You get to talk to your crush, and I get this damn duck to work."

Robin didn't even bother asking him how he knew she had a crush on Heather (because he was her Goose, clearly) but she had no problem poking holes in his plan. Typical. "So, what, we're going to ask her to help two adults blow up a pool toy? And ask her to put her mouth on something covered with your saliva?"

The "dingus" was implied.

Steve huffed. "Well, when you put it like that... Very gross. Wouldn't recommend." He started to back up slowly, making his way to where Heather would be seated. Now, he had no plan, but he excelled at thinking on his feet. The demodogs could attest to that. 

Robin glanced over at the lifeguard chair. "Steve—"

"I got this." He shook the toy at her, playfully. "I am your Goose." Steve kept walking backwards, right up until he ran into something hard. "Oof!"

"Did you just call yourself a goose?"

Oh, no. No. Nope. Not this guy. Steve spun around, inflatable duck head slapping Billy Hargrove on the chin with a _thwap_ sound.

Oops.

Steve couldn't see his eyes because of the aviators he wore, but Billy's mouth opened in confusion convinced him that Billy was probably not glaring. For once. Steve transferred the toy to his other arm, putting the duck in a limp headlock.

Billy's confusion morphed into a smirk. "Havin' a hard time with your _duck_ , Harrington?" He reached out to flick the plastic head. "Can't get it up?"

Behind him, Robin snorted. Robin was a terrible wingwoman and she was fired.

"There's nothing wrong with my duck, I'll have you know," Steve muttered, fists on his hips like the irate babysitter he—sometimes—was. His duck was just fine, thanks.

The menace to society wasn't deterred in the slightest. Tongue between his teeth, Billy tilted his head to the side and murmured, "I'll be the judge of that, princess."

Whoa, whoa, _whoa_. What? Don't shine those baby blues at him, man. Warning bells going off in his head, Steve panicked and shoved the toy at the lifeguard. "The duck is defective!"

"Yeah, blame the duck," he heard Robin mutter under her breath. Just one more betrayal in a long line of betrayals. 

Billy pushed his sunglasses to the tip of his nose, peering over at her and then back to Steve. "Doesn't look like your girlfriend agrees," he snarked, yanking the toy out of Steve's hold and bringing it to his lips. He blew into the mouth piece in what could only be described as flirtatious and a weirdly erotic way, looking up at him from beneath his lashes.

What in the hell.

Steve's mind went blank. "Umm..." He watched the duck slowly inflate while Billy eyed him up like a hungry wolf. 

All the weird shit that happened in Hawkins and he still wasn't prepared for whatever this was.

Billy finished with the toy and threw it in the general direction of the pool. They both watched it soar through the air and land with a smack on the back of Mike's head. The kid flipped them off and mouthed something that didn't look like anything nice or repeatable in polite company. Not that Billy Hargrove was ever polite company.

"Well, uh, thanks for fixing it, man." Steve pointed at Robin with his thumb. "I should be getting back over there. To my friend. That is a girl."

Billy smirked and licked his lips. "Anytime, Harrington." 

Anytime? Anytime what? Why did everything this guy say sound like innuendo? It was too hot for this. Steve couldn't take it, so he hightailed it over to the lounge chairs and dramatically collapsed in the one nearest to Robin. 

Meanwhile, Billy swaggered his way over to the lifeguard chair and climbed up, back muscles clenching and glistening. Was he doing everything in slow motion and to a sexy rock soundtrack? 

"Robin, is he moving in slow motion?" Steve asked, eye twitching. "And do you hear that music?" 

"Oh, dingus," she murmured, sympathetically. "You don't got this at all."

**Author's Note:**

> Robin is the greatest wingwoman to ever wing. Steve doesn't know what he's talking about.
> 
> Top Gun wasn't released until 1986 but we'll just pretend that's not true.
> 
> "I'm not convinced you graduated kindergarten" came from a writing prompt list.


End file.
